One Week Ends... A New One Begins

Last week was a rough one for me in SL. Two friends that I care for a lot had a falling out. I wanted to help them make up, but it was not meant to be. They are both wonderful people, but sometimes things get said, little things build to a head, and there is no going back. It was something I had to accept. My attempt to help only strained one friendship to near the breaking point. None of us walked away unscarred by it all.

What else happened? I tried to get too close to one of my friends. She wasn't encouraging it, but I wasn't reading the signs very well. That has always been a problem with me. The closer I get to a girl, the more I imagine being with her. Most of my affairs in life, RL or SL, have been just my imagination running wild. I got lucky this time. I kept the friend, but I broke my own heart.

Another friend, Crystal, told me to stop looking so hard for the right girl. "The right girl will appear when you are not looking" she said. Maybe that happened last night. I won't give any details about her, except that she tried to talk to me while I was sitting in Morris Welcome Area. I was surrounded by my other friends, male and female, and I was all alone. She started talking to me. I was distracted and depressed and I was slow to answer. I said I was sorry and made an excuse about rl interfering with our conversation. She persisted. I read her profile. Young. Maybe too young for an old man like me. Maybe she was just being nice since we were on the same piece of wall.

I crashed (SL was somewhat unstable last night) and she was gone when I came back. I don't have a lot of clothes for this avatar and too many of the clothes for my previous ones are non-transferable. Most of what I have are freebies that don't look that good. So I went shopping.

Like I said, I read her profile. She is a clothes designer. I went to her store and found a couple of shirts I really liked. I wasn't looking for her, but she was upstairs and came down and said hello. She gave me a third shirt, one of her most expensive. I thanked her and asked if there was somewhere nearby I could unpack the box*.

She took me to her house and gave me permission there to open it. I put on the gift shirt. She said I looked very good in it. Then she showed me her home. We sat on a couple of meditation pillows by a large window overlooking the sea. We talked. We talked so long... It was getting late, but I didn't want to leave her. I looked for signs that maybe we could get closer. I asked for a kiss and she said yes. We kissed and talked. Time would not slow down though and finally I had to leave.

I want to see her again.. soon. I want to be loved, but I don't want to make a fool of myself again. Oh God, I feel like a teenager again. Young, stupid and clumsy. I don't know what to do or say. I don't want to mess this relationship up like I have so many others. I have a chance here for a new beginning. When one door closes another one opens. One week ends and a new week begins.

*If you are not familiar with Second Life, when you purchase items in a store they come either in a box or a folder. Folders can be opened immediately, but a box must be rezzed first and then the contents moved to your inventory. That has to be done on your own land or in a public sandbox. Some stores have a small area for customers to use.