You May Be Experiencing Lag!

Lag is a fact of Second Life for all of us. There is always a little lag in every sim. So many things affect it, the number of avatars, avatar rendering costs, the number of prims, among other factors. From time to time, the servers just slow down for reasons only known by Lord Linden himself. Jeff Foxworthy made a fortune with his "You may be a redneck" jokes. Let's look at the ways you know you are experiencing lag in Second Life.

1. If your friends ask why are you naked, you may be experiencing lag.


2. If you are in _______ (fill in the name of your favorite welcome area), you may be experiencing lag.


3. If you are always sinking into the terrain when you are in Nova Albion, you're having a normal day there, LOL.


4. If you can't stop walking through buildings, walls, and other people, you may be experiencing lag.


5. If your rezzed with a female shape and you have a male avatar, you may be experiencing lag.


6. If you rezzed without your hair, you may be experiencing lag.


7. If you can't control your movements and keep bumping into people, you may be experiencing lag, or you are a newbie.


8. If a friend leaves and your "CU L8R" text shows up in chat five minutes later, you may be experiencing lag.


9. If you can't sit on the wall at Morris, you may be experiencing lag.


10. If you can only get one shoe to rez, you may be experiencing lag.


11. If you can't teleport, you may be experiencing lag.


12. If you can't adjust your appearance without re-logging, you may be experiencing lag.


13. If your boyfriend leaves you for another girl and you don't find out for a week, you may... no wait, that's not lag. That's just life!

Don't Be A Nasty Newbie!

I pretty much live in the Morris Welcome area. I don't own land so I park my butt on the wall and talk to my friends and go from there to a store, or dance club, some other event, or wander down to the sandbox to try my hand at building.

Being a welcome area, there are always tons of people here, oldsters and newbies. My friends and I like to help newbies. We talk to them and help out with their questions. We give out landmarks to clubs and beaches and freebie stores. We'll help you change your appearance and give you clothes, hair and skins.

We will help anyone usually, except for the nasty newbies. What is a nasty newbie? A Nasty Newbie...

• Bumps people repeatedly. Either he doesn't know where he is going or doesn't care.
  
• Asks the same question over and over again. Yo Dude! Listen. I told you twice already.
  
• Sends friendship requests before talking to someone. The purpose of friendship is SL is to be able to easily communicate with your friends and IM them even if you can't see them. The Contacts tab lets you see when your friends are online.

I have made friends with newbies, but it is usually temporary. I help them for a few days and then usually drop them as they have moved on to make real friends. Most of my current friends I have known inworld for 3-6 months before friendship was offered and accepted. I have lots of aquaintances who I am friendly with, but we haven't added each other to our lists yet.

• Asks or begs for money. Dude I'm not your daddy. Ask him for money. Either buy some Linden$, or get a job.
  
• SHOUTS EVERYTHING WITH THE CAPS LOCK ON. You only need to shout if someone is outside your normal chat range and ALL CAPS is not necessary, just rude. Besides if you know whoever you are trying to talk to then IM them.
  
• Asking personal questions to someone you just met. It's ok to ask where you are from, but don't expect to be told more than the country. What age am I? I don't get asked very often (it's in my profile) but the ladies do get asked a lot. They may not tell you or they may just lie. Why bother?
  
• Ask for sexual favors in open chat or IM. I have seen a newbie walk up to three very lovely friends of mine and ask each one in turn for cybersex. One, these are ladies. Two, you are a newbie and, face it, not that attractive, and three, Dude, you don't ask for sex in a welcome area. Go to a sex sim where you will fit in.

Good manners work no matter what country you come from. Be polite and others will be willing to answer your questions and enjoy a conversation with you. Be rude and people will mute and ignore you. Keep bumping and harassing others and you risk being reported and banned. Don't be a Nasty Newbie.

How Do I Play This Game? - Part 2

My first post on this topic was really about manners and the rules of behavior. Today I want to talk about what to do in Second Life.

"Why am I here?" "What do I want to do?" The answers to those two questions should be your guide. Are you into fantasy, orcs and elves, dragons, and monsters? Do your search for the keywords that will lead you to those sims. Space and science fiction? You can become a Star Fleet Academy cadet. If you know what kind of character you want your avatar to be, search for the sims inworld that fit your character. The stores and malls in those sims will also be a good place to find the apparel and equipment that you will want for your avatar to fit in.

What about if I want to become a builder or designer? Then you need to take classes. Learn how to use the tools. Find a mentor. The basics of building is fairly simple. The devil, as they say, is in the details. Once you learn the craft, you can design and build for yourself, or if you can come up with something truly unique, you can start your own business with your own products.

Do I need to be a builder or designer to make money inworld? No you can operate a business and sell other people's products. Just like the real world you will need a good location in a high traffic area, and attractive products that people will want. Easy isn't it?

What about a job? Ok if you are a real newbie who has never played before, face the facts, you don't have much to offer at first. You are learning the rules and getting your feet wet. There are jobs available. Here are a few:

• Clubs are always looking for host and hostesses to greet their guests and make them feel welcome. Anyone with a sparkling personality can fit into a job like that.
  
• Clubs need DJs. If you have a large music collection and talent in choosing music that your audience will dance to, that might be the job for you.
  
• Designers need models for their clothes. The key to that job is to have a good looking avatar which means you need to invest in high quality shapes, skins, hair and clothes. The nice thing is that you usually keep the clothes you are modeling. But like all good models you will need a portfolio to show potential clients.
  
• The are other jobs too - event planners, wedding planners, artists, musicians, and land managers. The world's oldest profession is alive and well in Second Life, but this is a PG blog so we won't discuss it here.

So how do I play this game? Look, Listen, and Learn. Spend time in the welcome areas, orientation Islands, malls, and shops. Visit the freebie stores, explore. And ask questions. Some people will make fun of a newbie. Ignore them and walk away. Look around and you will spot someone who is answering questions. Speak to them. There are lots of mentors out there, even more volunteer newbie helpers, and just friendly folks who will take time to answer your questions, offer you landmarks, advice and even free clothes and skins.

We all have wondered how to play the game at one time. We all have been newbies. It wears off quickly. In the meantime, enjoy the confusion!

How to Recognize a Newbie

new• bie ['n(y)oobe]
noun (pl - bies) an inexperienced newcomer especially in computers.
also NOOB

We all have seen them. We all have joked about them. And face it folks, we all have been them. Everyday hundreds of newbies log into Second Life for the first time. Some have other in-world gaming experience so it is a matter of getting their feet wet and learning the particularities of SL. For others, the great IT gods help them, haven't a single clue about why or even how they got to this particular place and time. It amazes the rest of us that they even know how to boot their computers!

So how do you recognize a newbie. If you are a newbie, here is how the rest of us know even before looking at your birthday in your profile.

• How do I play this game?
  
• How did I get here?
  
• How do I get to back to where I was?
  
• How do I get a job?
  
• Where do I go to have sex?
  
• How do I get money?
  
• How do I get clothes?
  
• What is a landmark?
  
• How do I teleport?
  
• Where are you from? (and without waiting) How old are you?
  
• How do I take off my skin?
  
• I can't find my clothes.
  
• How do I open this box?
  
• Walking around with a box attached.
  
• A friendship invitation out of the blue without speaking first.
  
• Bumping into everyone.
  
• Standing in a welcome area editing appearance for 20 minutes.
  
• The inadvertent newbie leap in the middle of a conversation.
  
• Still wearing the pink prim skirt after changing clothes the first time.
  
• Males - blue and grey shirt
  
• Females - that awful pink dress!
  
• Newbie skin.
  
• Non-prim newbie hair.

I know that some of you SL regulars have your own favorites, so please comment and let me hear them.

If you are a newbie, the good news is that it wears off in time, quickly for most of us. Watch and listen. Help is out there. Look for SL Mentors in the welcome areas, ask questions in local chat. Lots of us are willing to help when asked nicely. Also, even though you can't get back to Help Island where you started, you can go to Pubic Help Island where there are always helpers on duty and lots of tutorials available.

If you are a newbie there is no shame to asking for help, but remember we regulars may look like we are standing around doing nothing at all, but we might be trying to reorganize our inventories, talking in IM or voice, reading email, checking a website, monitoring a business, or maybe have just ran to the bathroom, so we may not be paying attention to you.

If you are a regular be nice. Cut the noobs some slack and don't just laugh at their inexperience. Remember the first person to help you? Aren't you glad they did?