Waiting...

In real life I am sitting in my easy chair watching Celtic Women on PBS and typing on my Laptop. In Second Life I am standing behind the bar at the Skyline Club and betting on the Sploder. But what I am really doing is waiting.

I miss my SL wife Grace. She was having electrical problems last night and was on only for a few minutes. Our SL baby is due on Sunday, March 21 and I am getting nervous.

We were together on Tuesday night for maybe an hour. I didn't see her again until Friday. I have a real life. Why am I so wrapped up in this other life?

Tomorrow if everything goes well, we will go to the clinic and Grace will deliver our prim baby, little Hannah. We bought a half sim and put our house there. That's where we plan to raise our little family. Until then I'll wait.

Playing House

I haven't talk about my relationships in awhile except to talk about friends who are gone. But my second life has been changing again.

I met Grace in November. She didn't think I liked her because I was a bit cool when she said something about another girl I know. But a mutual friend got us talking and we discovered that we really liked each other.

We dated and our avatars fell in love. We got engaged, but then decided we couldn't wait to get married and eloped on December 20. Grace bought a pregnancy HUD and within a week her avatar was pregnant. Well that's a brief summary of the past few months.

So how's my second life? Some people become builders, others artists and musicians. Some folks operate clubs or other businesses. On the other end of the scale, some folks are vampires, or animals, or aliens from outer space. What am I? I'm a father-to-be with a house and mortgage  (the tier payment). My second life is imitating real life.

We found a better place to live. We built one house and are planning to build a bigger one for our growing family. We go to the birthing clinic for regular checkups. Grace takes vitamins, and drinks her juice and eats right. All the while her belly has grown as we wait for her due date in March.

Some people are really interested in our progress. Although lots of people get married in SL and even have families by adopting child avatars, not as many go through the process and expense of an SL pregnancy. Grace and I want the full experience though. We will have a prim baby who we will raise for awhile and then adopt a child to replace the baby.

I guess we are just playing house.

Auld Lang Syne

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind ?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and old lang syne ?

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

Friends come and go. I have a couple of friends who I have known since my high school years, so very long ago. We rarely see each other anymore, yet we are still friends. We will always be friends. If either of these men called me today asking for help, I would do whatever I could without question.

These are real life (RL) friends. How are they different from virtual friends, people I have never met face-to-face? What makes a friendship... virtual or otherwise? Friends are people who shared common interests, who have shared experiences, They have shared their hopes and dreams with each other, their fears, their laughter and their tears. I really don't know what, if any, is the difference between a friend I've made online and a friend I made in real life.

Except that virtual friends disappear so suddenly that it hurts. I've lost two friends in the past month. One I have heard rumors about why she dropped out of sight. I think I understand what happened and why. The other friend had been getting more distant from not just me, but lots of people for quite awhile. She came online more and more infrequently. Then one day she was gone. I miss spending time with both of them. Both of them are incredible sweet and caring ladies who I have shared many good times and laughs with. They both are friends who I will miss and hope I will see again one day.

So let’s go back to the question of RL versus virtual friends. Well RL friends are real. Right? I mean if you are my friend in RL I can see you, hear you, feel you, smell you. I know more about you than just what I have learned in conversations. A virtual friend is just as insubstantial as the pixel drawn world they inhabit. What's behind the avatar? What is the person really like? Are they sincere? Are they honest? Can they be trusted?

The irony of life in the virtual world is that, for some of us, it is an escape from a real world where we have few friends and real lives that we are anxious to escape for a few hours. Sadly we put more effort in creating a new persona in the virtual world rather than rebuilding our real lives. I spent way too much time doing that before I realized that I could never be the person I created and recreated myself again. The avatar may be tall and lean, two things I am not, but the personality is ME. I have spent nearly two years in Second Life now and I think I have come to terms with it and my real life.

The thing I haven't come to terms with is losing a friend. To me real or virtual, a friend is a friend, and each one is precious to me.

We two have paddled in the stream,

from morning sun till dine ;

But seas between us broad have roared

since auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !

And give us a hand o’ thine !

And we’ll take a right good-will draught,

for auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

Happy Thanksgiving

We Americans celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday. I just want to say to anyone who may be reading my blog that I am thankful for my friends in Second Life. I never have played the "game" very well, but I am sincere in my desire to make others happy when I can.

So thanks to Allison, Crystal, Dana, Danger, Dany, Cliff, Xanadu, Wicked, Grace, Jadee, Jan, Kane, Cyrus, Kharma, LadyAlpha, Lili, Mudpile, Valerie, Lola101, Lonely, Paige, Pella, Monarch, Pat, Prudence, Sandie, Talatha, Warm, Fay, Crompton, Digital, Anthony, Issableau, and Suzy.

Thank you for talking to me, for helping to make me laugh, for tolerating my stupid remarks and my, more than occasional, depression. Thanks.

I know I am forgetting some, because you are not all in my friends list, yet you are my friends.

In real life I'll be raking leaves over the next few days, helping to prepare the feast on Thursday, and spending time with family. I hope you are taking time to spend time with your families too. -Harry

Poor Pixie

My dear pixie friend has been suffering from Computis Interuptis. Her PC died from a dead hard drive. It has been a month now since the last time she posted anything to her blog. I think I can safely speak for her friends in saying we all miss her wit and wisdom.

I know things have been rough lately. But don't despair. The Pixie Warrior will be back. I hope it is soon.

Friend, Unfriend, De-unfriend

Friends

Over the weekend I saw a girl I know sitting by herself on the wall. I said hello and sat down to keep her company (not to mention I needed company.) We both came to the sudden realization that we would like to get to be closer friends.

We went dancing and had a good time. We talked about our real lives and what we like to do. The next night we went dancing again and then to an 'almost' wedding. Almost because the groom didn't show up (More on that later.) Anyhow my new girl friend and I just like to dance and chat. No pressure, no drama. Just two people who get along nicely together and are considerate.

I saw my old girl friend, Kharma, at the 'almost' wedding. We talked a little. I would have liked to talked more, but I had a date, and there was the reason it was an 'almost' wedding.

I sent an IM to my oldest friend in SL, one of whom I haven't seen in months. We both have moved on with our lives, but I still would like to know how she is. Maybe I will send her an e-mail.

Friends in Need

The groom's avatar was there at the wedding chapel. The guests had arrived and were waiting. The appointed hour passed and nothing. Finally the best man made an announcement. The groom had gone AFK (away from the keyboard). Something must be wrong, but no one knew what. Hours passed without word. Friends consoled the bride who was upset.

The groom could not be raised on his cell phone and his avatar stood in the chapel mute. Finally early in the morning the bride got word. The groom's back went out on him in his kitchen. He was laying on the floor for quite some time before he was able to call for help and was taken to the emergency room.

Everyone was relieved as the word spread, literally around the world. Friends, even ones who had barely spoken to each other in weeks, came together to help out in this minor crisis. PS- The wedding will be re-scheduled.

Unfriend

There was a story in the news yesterday. The New Oxford Dictionary has declared the word 'unfriend' the new word of the year for 2009. Oxford defines "unfriend," a verb, thusly: "To remove someone as a 'friend' on a social networking site such as Facebook." CNN Article

Unfriending, or defriending people happens on Second Life too. Sometimes it is a matter of housekeeping. I occasionally make friends with a newbie for just a couple of days until they get their feet wet. I do it as a courtesy to them, but I removed them from my list after a week because most of the time I am really not interested in knowing them better.

De-unfriend

New Oxford, are you listening? Here's a new word for the dictionary. De-unfriend. It means to add a person that you have previously unfriended as a friend again. My ex-friend and I have been talking ever since the 'almost' wedding. She and I were very concerned about our two mutual friends and that seems to have made a difference. When we talk I feel that old warmth in her chats. She and I seem to be able to joke and laugh together again, even share an inside joke that only we know. I haven't asked her to make me a friend in the technical sense on SL, but I feel that we are friends again. In my heart she is still my friend, and I am hers, whenever she needs me to be.

Ahern

Ahern is the name of one of four regions that meet in one big welcome area in Second Life. The other three are Dore, Morris, and Bonifacio (let me check the spelling before you send a nasty comment). Each one has a large pavilion where residents like to sit and talk.

The Morris pavilion is the one in the background of the photo. To the left you see the "Pit" as we call it. It's a low square area with a wall all around where the four regions converge. Between the walls and the benches there is plenty of room to sit, but most folks stand. Usually there is lots of local chat to read and voice chat to listen to.

I've always liked this place. Most of the friends I've made, I made here. Most of the avatars you see here are human, but that doesn't mean you won't see an occasional furry, neko, robot*, mech warrior, demon, pixie, elf, or anything else. I've seen a few avatars that I'll be darned if I know what they were. It's as a diverse a place as you can imagine.

The people who inhabit those avatars are diverse too, and that's the fun of meeting people and making friends here. Over the year and a half I have been in SL I have listened to a lot of different opinions about nearly every topic from global warming, economics, government and politics, sex and religion. I don't always agree with what I hear, but it is fun to share perspectives with people from all over the earth.

The debates are usually entertaining. Sometimes they get hot as one person tries to shout other opinions down. They often lose in the end, because unreasonable behavior will usually get them muted by the majority who become tired of their rants. I never debated in school, but it seems to me that there are rules that are common sense. Make logical arguments. Provide facts or evidence to back up your statements. Respect the other side's opinions and give them the same fair hearing that you want for your opinions.

Anyhow back to the main topic. I needed to leave Morris for awhile. Too crowded, you might say. I haven't gone far though. If I am not in Waterhead, you might see me in Dore or Bonifacio. I might even be (shutter) in the "pit". If you see me say hello.

* Robot avatars are one thing. "Bots" are another. Bots can be any kind of avatar, but they are not people. They have been programmed by their owners to walk around, speak and respond to others in very simple sentences. Sometimes they are there just to spy on the area, or sometimes send out spam to people.